


sunburnt hearts

by smoll_jane



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Rain, Summer, Teen Romance, this is so cliche i'm sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:00:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24161740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoll_jane/pseuds/smoll_jane
Summary: The rain and heat make everything heavier, slower. His legs, his mind, his heart. He feels like he’s running out of time, like the water on the dark cement is quicksand blocking him from following Hansol, like it’s too late.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	sunburnt hearts

**Author's Note:**

> here i am ! 
> 
> i hope you'll like this short one, it had been a really long time since i last wrote verkwan, i missed these two. once again, i am thanking kitty cat (@caratgems please read their aus, they deserve everything) for the idea and for supporting me through the writing process and my existential crisis
> 
> please, leave a kudo and a comment to tell me what you thought of it !  
> take care ♡

The boiling cement is exuding heat even through the soles of his shoes, slowly getting soaked as the rain continues on pouring like a cascade. Summer doesn’t take a break, even for the rain. Seungkwan looks above his shoulder to try and spot his friend from his terrible hideout. The only thing it keeps from getting drenched is his bag, at least, but his hair is already dripping and tears from the clouds are flowing down his face, even though he has been outside for only a few minutes.

He startles when Hansol catches his wrist, since he didn’t see him coming, looking in the wrong direction. He gives his friend a small smile, holding back a sigh when his arm is released.

“I thought you’d have an umbrella,” he says at the sight of Hansol’s drenched uniform. He _must not_ look at the way his white shirt is becoming transparent as it’s infiltrated with water.

“I forgot,” replies Hansol with a bright smile, shrugging. He slightly pulls on Seungkwan’s sleeve to drag him out of his hideout and take the direction of home.

They walk in silence for a few seconds, Seungkwan focusing on the sound his shoes make when he steps in the inch of water covering the ground. _Flap, flap, flap_. His heart quite makes the same noise, when he thinks of it. Hansol walks ahead, take a while to notice he’s slower than usual. When he does, he stops and looks at Seungkwan, a thin line stretching his lips in a comforting smile. When Seungkwan catches up on him, he starts walking again, more slowly this time.

“How was school? Do you still have exams? Summer break is close.”

Seungkwan hates when Hansol talks about banal stuff like this. Because when he does, it’s because he senses something is going on. And something _is_ going on, that is the problem.

He shrugs, shoots in an imaginary rock on the ground and swears when the water gets in his shoe. He’d like to put his hands in the pockets of his pants, but the fabric is stuck because of how wet it is.

“Yeah, it’s kinda soon.”

The rain and heat make everything heavier, slower. His legs, his mind, his heart. He feels like he’s running out of time, like the water on the dark cement is quicksand blocking him from following Hansol, like it’s too late.

And it is.

They’re graduating from highschool in exactly ten days. He’s known Hansol Vernon Chwe for the past ten years of his life. The day they met, he had no idea the boy with huge round glasses playing on the swing from the neighborhood playground would be so important for him in the future. It didn’t take long for the both of them to become best friends, but it took much longer for Seungkwan to understand he didn’t want of Hansol as a friend. They’re eighteen now, and he was fifteen and a half when he did. Hansol came with him in Jeju and they spent the summer playing on the beach, laying in the shadow in his bedroom when it was too hot outside, sneaking out at night to discover the streets. It was at dawn, when they hadn’t slept for the whole night and Hansol looked like he could pass out at any moment when he understood his heart didn’t beat quite the right way. The sun was rising and the birds were waking up, the air still fresh and grass still covered with dew, and he understood something was happening.

He thought he had time. Time to deal with it, time to gather his courage.

But the truth is, he doesn’t have time anymore.

Seungkwan stops walking and it seems like the rain is pouring even harder now, he can’t see anything further than two meters ahead. Hansol already disappeared in the torrent, not noticing Seungkwan wasn’t beside him anymore.

“Why did you not tell me?!” His voice sounds weak in the uproar, he barely hears himself yelling. But then, Hansol appears in front of him, black hair streaks glued to his face, covering his hazel eyes.

“Tell you what?” At his tone, Seungkwan’s heart clenches. Hansol perfectly knows. Because his eyes are sad. But they don’t look as sad as Seungkwan feels right now. It feels like the ground will soon disappear under his feet and he’ll get swallowed in a black hole of crazy waves.

“That you’re going to college in America.”

Hansol lowers his head, looking down at his feet. He doesn’t say anything and Seungkwan starts to think he didn’t hear. But then, Hansol looks up at him again, and there is the saddest smile Seungkwan has ever seen on his face. Rare are the times when Chwe Hansol looks sad, but it breaks his heart to see him like this.

“I didn’t know how to say it without hurting you,” starts Hansol, talking so low Seungkwan has to focus to hear everything. “But I realize now there is no way to do so.” The smile goes a little wider, a little sadder, and Seungkwan swears there are tears in his eyes. “I thought I had more time, Seungkwan.”

His heart skips a beat. When it starts again, it hurts, just like when you have sunburn and you have no choice but touching the area of damaged skin, and it’s dry, and hard and boiling. And it beats so fast it hurts at every single pulsation, it cracks and burns.

“I thought it too, Hansol-ah.” He’s scared of the power the words bubbling in his throat have. He’s scared of unleashing them and see what they will do. Destroy an empire, years of friendship, the best memories of his life ? Yeah, most probably. This is even the only scenario he’s got in mind. He’s terrified. “I don’t wanna lose you.” His voice cracks on the edges and a thunderclap makes him startle. He hates thunder. Hansol takes a step closer. His uniform is like a second skin now, legs black and chest transparent white. His tie hangs in the void pitifully, rain dripping like its own cascade. “Because I love you, Hansol.”

Hansol’s eyes widen a bit, Seungkwan doesn’t want to see. Hansol comes even closer, raises a hand to Seungkwan’s shoulder.

“You won’t lose me Seungkwan, of course I love you too.”

Seungkwan shakes his head, rain _drip drop_ on his face. Now that the words are out, there’s a hole in his throat, an emptiness that can’t be filled. Or maybe is the hole in his heart ? Instead of words, tears are climbing in him, ready to meet the rain on his cheeks.

“This is not what I mean. You don’t understand.”

Seungkwan closes his eyes. Hansol doesn’t say anything. For what seems to be hours, there’s only the uproar of the summer rains pouring. He’s drenched from head to toe, he doesn’t even want to think about the state of his notebooks, in his backpack. Seungkwan startles when Hansol catches his wrist and drags him on the sidewalk. He doesn’t try to take his hand back, he’s too disappointed for this. Disappointed in himself, disappointed in the time he doesn’t have. Hansol walks until they find a shelter, under an eave, and he stands in front of Seungkwan.

There are no words to describe what Seungkwan sees in Hansol’s eyes. Fondness, so, so much goodness. Hansol lifts a hand to caress his hair, slightly tilts his head on the side.

“What do you mean, then? I want to understand Seungkwan.” One tear rolls on Seungkwan’s cheek at the gentleness in Hansol’s voice. He has to press his lips against each other to stop them from shaking, he presses so strong it hurts.

“Three years.” His voice shakes, he can’t help it. “I’ve tried to find a way to tell you for three years.” Hansol’s hand drops, his brows slightly furrow, just like every time he’s confused about something. “But I couldn’t. I thought I had more time but I don’t.”

The tear doesn’t stay single for long before a dozen of others reach Seungkwan’s eyes. Despite his confusion, Hansol still looks at Seungkwan so fondly and it’s _so_ hard to bare.

“Say something, I beg you.” The last word disappear in a sob just like Seungkwan is scared Hansol will disappear.

“You … are in love with me?”

This, this is the trigger. Seungkwan bursts in tears at the words he never dared to formulate. Saying _I love you_ is easy, because you can say it to many people. But saying _I’m in love with you_ is much different, holds so much more meaning to Seungkwan. He nods, because yes. Yes, he is in love with Hansol, yes, he loves him, yes, he’s terrified to lose him.

“Come here.” He’s surprised when Hansol pulls him in a hug, but Seungkwan doesn’t resist and lets him wrap his arms around him. A few years ago, they were the same height, but now Hansol is taller and gives Seungkwan a feeling of safety, the rare times they hug. He doesn’t want this feeling to go. Hansol gently puts a hand on Seungkwan’s head and caress his hair, which somehow makes him sob even harder. “Don’t cry Kwannie.”

Hansol has this kindness, around people. This inner peace that passes on the ones around him, this ability to calm a harmed heart with a few words, a smile, a squeeze of the hand. Maybe that is what made Seungkwan fall in love with him. Maybe this is the reason it’s so hard to let go.

“I thought I was alone.” It feels like Hansol is talking to himself, still stroking his dripping hair. “You’re so loving, Seungkwan, you love everyone so much.” His tears slowly calm, out of confusion, but he keeps his face buried in the crook of Hansol’s neck. “I thought you loved everyone this way.” Hansol’s hand stops moving, holding his head now. “I thought you didn’t love me the way I do.”

When Seungkwan finally breaks apart and looks at Hansol, everything in him collapses. A shelf with many things neatly arranged, with everything in its place, but with these words, the shelf is shaken and everything falls apart.

“What did you say?” He whispers, he can’t not whisper, he’s too scared the words were an illusion and they’re going to disappear.

Hansol smiles. And through his last tears, Seungkwan does too. Hansol cups Seungkwan’s face in both of his hands and brings him closer to lock their eyes.

“I don’t wanna go Seungkwan. I won’t go, I told Mom I couldn’t.”

Seungkwan doesn’t try to hold his tears back. Because they’re happy tears, relieved tears. He doesn’t hold his laugh back either.

“We’re so stupid, I can’t believe it.

-We are, yeah.”

Just before Hansol presses their lips together, Seungkwan realizes the rain stopped.


End file.
